Reflection

Taken apart at the seams
I still see you in my dreams
Forcibly moved in different directions
Left alone with our reflections

What happened? We used to spend all of our time together
Now it feels like we've been apart forever
Why can't we go back to the way it once was
The answer I get is one word, Because...
A list of excuses spring from her mouth
Easy to say, not her time that's running out
Growing up, growing away from each other
Is it what you want? No father just a mother
A drum beat, I can feel it inside of me
In front, there is only reflection I see

I remember the first time I laid eyes on you
The surprised smile you wore when I blew
Gently on your face. Perfect picture of serenity and grace.
But then you had to go back on medication
To spare you the pain you were in
Long nights sleepless, by your bedside
So grateful you made it through alive
The rest of my life was gonna be you and me
Every night read you stories, sing you to sleep
Little one, be in no doubt, I was forcibly cast out

It tore me up to see you cry
My job is to care and clear up your eyes
I've been downgraded to a visiting position
Begging compromise, no one here listens
She doesn't care you want time with your father
Our shared pain and misery, we know the author
What happened the person we once loved?
That online has been scribbled and smudged
Don't worry baby, we'll always have each other
Despite the efforts of that other.

Be with you soon. Never give up.
Hate how your used as a crutch.
I hope you feel my dedication.
Love, your eternal reflection.

15/08/16 Balor O'Brien

Missing Roommate

Empty rooms. Empty silence.
Permeates. Screams the obvious.
Phones, MP3s strewn on the floor.
No click, no tap, no snore.

Stale smoke clings to nostrils.
Not a home, a nomads hostel
Cheap curtains hang listless, the world outside.
Missing roommate, missing drive

Mouldy kitchen, bins are strewn
In the bed, a damaged spoon
A knife cut it
It should have kissed it.

Balor O'Brien

Rigged

25/6/2016

The game is rigged.
The Masters? Masters of shit.
Followed by gaping orifices and white pearl carriers alike.
Following into a bottomless pit.
Hope, love, friendship, courage
Words tossed flippantly, deployed.
Shredding,  torn to ribbons to slow the descent
Once they are exhausted the bearer releases.
No longer falling, they are floated by despair, acceptance and nothing.

The game is rigged
Renamed, redefined, shrouded
In convoluted, witless explanation
The ground melts, floundering, clueless, ignorant
Fruitless efforts to fight the tide, but there is no tide.
Just wave upon wave of emotion
Exiting, disappearing, numbing

The game is rigged
A distraction, an illusion
Music, noise pollution, drowns the senses
Film, manufactured feeling for ignorance, suppression
Sport, exhaustive and taxing. Drained.
Artificial connections, emotions
Emoticons, empty words and chats. Warm smiles.
A crutch to limp this zombieland.

The walking dead
Lead a life of choice?
The dice are fixed
Finding certainty in the understanding of narrow minds
There only exists a life, ordinary, compromised, unfulfilled.
The only joke that ever made me laugh.
We try to live
Not knowing we are already dead.

Balor O'Brien

Bad Blood

Utterances, escape their owners
Attack ears, sting like hornets.
Horny, disgusted, love or hate
Confused, a medley of emotion.
Eyes dry of tears, mouth parched of spit.
All that is left
Is for you to bleed.
Bad blood. No one wants it
You bleed anyway.

Balor O'Brien

Blank

Buzz...buzz...buzz...
Ringing in my ears
A ringing in yours
Graveyard littered with your peers.
What happened? One ponders
Whose that lying yonder?
Lying next to your victim
You are their game too
Kissed them, licked them, fit them.
Waking up drenched in each other's spew
Strangers faced with intimate moments
Buzz...Buzz...Buzz...
Escape through Facebook or Pokemon Go
Breaks your heart to think, don't it?
Same excuse each week, mind moving slow.
No sound, no reason beats the drum in my head
Living this way, might as well be dead.

Balor O'Brien

Notorious!

First off, apologies to the USA
This aint bout Biggie Smalls or Big Daddy Kane
The title for sure has some of you misled
It lists a Celtic warrior, born and bred
His rise will be known for decades to come
Whoever he fights, they come undone
A fighting man, the stuff of legend
Well fought Diaz, but you still place second
To a Celtic Tiger, he boasts his own skill
Lifting UFC, moving in for the kill
Centre stage, the lens has him in focus
Starving your fighters, like a swarm of locusts
Of fame, but his name pays them well
It's his brand and image Danny sells
A harder man than Mr Burgess (ref. The Snapper)
Any weight, any date, he'll be victorious
You know his name, screaming Notorious!

Balor O'Brien

Narcissist?

Pull me left, now pull me right

When am I to leave your sight?

I can't, tensed, ready for flight

How is your bark  worse than your bite?

Words to strip a man apart

The worst pain never leaves a mark

Teeth, nails, fists and feet

Can't compare with when you speak

How can it come from one so loved

It's my fault, the one that pushed and shoved

Made you slip inside yourself

Can't take back the way I made you felt

Everything since makes it worse and worse

You love to see me mad and curse

Don't see the hurt that you cause

No let up, no white flag, no pause

Getting tired of the same guilt-facts

Sick of going round this empty track

Watch someone squirm, it boosts your ego

Keep them down, make sure they feel low

People do get tired of this shit

It's no one's job to help you piss.

You can dress up, try looking healthy and fit

But the poison is oozing, we all see it drip

Forming a pool of puss at your feet

The place you demanded I take my seat

Good luck, goodbye, my time is done

Free of the cold, we'll all enjoy sun

There are other things in life to focus on

Bonding with family, let them know they belong

Actions can be cruel and full of vindiction 

Needless wars waged with gusto, conviction

Put it to bed, put it to rest
Think outside yourself, look at what's best

Saying one thing meaning another

First raging, then speaking, now beginning to blubber

Forgetting up from down when it suits

Thinking your clever, having everyone duped

Owning your toy, pulling it's strings

Teaching the songs you want it to sing

Half-forgotten, that kindness, that smile

Personality stored as a memory file

To pull the one to fit for each situation

Can't you see the other living in frustration?

Don't answer his questions. He doesn't want to know

Feelings and emotions will you leave them alone?

Pull me left now pull me right

Running me around till I have a stitch

Obvious, the reason you always look to fight

Narcissist? Naw, she just a crazy bitch!

Balor O'Brien

Clu

Lad, I'm too late to set this up for ya now. But check it! fresh on its way in a few hours!

Forget the Past

Sitting in the kitchen, perched on a chair
Same situation, in someone else's lair
Such a bad habit, comparing old with the new
Living in paradise, how the time flew
In a boardroom, set for interview
Nervous tapping, my glasses askew
Wondering how long will this last?
New place, new start, forget the past.

Keeping old calendars. Rain in reverse.
Storing past diaries. Memories to nurse.
Happy smiley pictures, that curse and curse
Wishing I could say this is only the first
Endless repeating, it is shredding my soul
Why does Santa only leave me coal?
No more reminising. Start being in the shoal.
Looking to the future is my only goal.

The pain, it blinds, it burns, it cuts too deep.
A lamb being skinned for it's fleece!
Of course no one will ever ask
For them the past remains the past.
They're moving on, driving forward.
The future has no time to look backward.

Losing all my loved ones, it burns inside
With so many enemies, it's time to hide
The present or the future, which I can't decide
Imagination, freedom, or falling in line?
When does reality return to the world?
To survive this fiction, in our shells we are curled
Terrifying visions, what may come to pass
Autocratic powers, trapped in the shadows they cast

In a field of dreams, we run from terror
A shifting guise. Can we see it? Never
Forget what's old, bring in the new
Us people today, we haven't a clue
Chasing Amy or chasing toads
Looking for the same thing in different modes
What has been we can't recall
Into the future we clambour and fall
History has us blind with pain
Only I seem to feel the rain
In this piece notice, I hate refrain
Is it clear? No? Let me explain
In a raging storm, tied to a mast
On the seas of time, now forget your past

Befuddled? Yes? Confused? Of Course!
It's time you read my rhymes in reverse

Balor O'Brien

Sao Paulo: Same Identity As.... Rio

One night in a bar in Sao Paulo, a man was sitting drinking by the bar when two women entered the bar. They were in their 20s. One of them is beautiful with ebony skin, dark smouldering eyes and sleek dark hair falling over her left shoulder. She wore a beautiful green dress which accentuated her mesmerizing figure. The other girl wore a less shaped black dress and bracelets on both wrists. She was more pale and had less lustre in her hair. She carried a little weight and attracted less attention from the men at the bar.

They went upstairs into the restaurant first. Later that night they returned to the bar and ordered drinks. After some time they were joined by a young man. They spent a number of hours drinking and engrossed in conversation together.

Eventually, the larger woman and the man left the bar together. The barman caught sight of the attractive woman left alone at the bar. He approached her to ask had she a lift on the way for her or if she would like another drink.

The woman thanked him warmly: "Oh no I'm fine thank you! He's coming back for me. He is my man."

The way the woman spoke caused the observer at the bar to pause for a moment. He found it fascinating that she felt the need to claim ownership for her man to a stranger over her friend. She didn't mean anything by it but underlying there was an obvious insecurity. She had to clarify that it was she with the man.

Now for context the man wasn't exceedingly attractive. He seemed good-natured and funny. He was slightly over-weight and balding. His clothes were jeans, and Hillfigure t-shirt.
the observer found it very informative to see how even the most attractive women are, even unbeknownst to themselves, possessive. This woman needed to confirm it was SHE with the boyfriend and that he was NOT her friend's partner.
Perhaps the observor was looking too deeply into things. But that was him.

Sure enough the man returned for his girlfriend. Saluting the barman, they thanked him and left.
Unnoticed the observer finished his drink and silently followed them out into the carpark...

... Amanda was relieved when her boyfriend returned. She was a little anxious to get home early. She had a long day to prepare for in work the following day. She slipped her arm around Lucas as they exited the bar together. He was warm and she loved the softness of his green jumper. As they neared the car she heard someone behind them. Half-turning to glance at them she didn't have time to flinch before the wrench connected with the side of her head....

The silent observer in the bar had followed the couple outside. He was not from Brazil. Without a word he closed the distance between himself and his targets in the carpark. Nearing them he allowed the wrench to slide silently from inside the sleeve of his coat. Gripping it firmly he spoke.
"Fuckin bastards!" he uttered, unable to form a more well-constructed statement.

Without waiting for a reaction he brought the wrench around, swinging it in an arc across the girl's head. She turned in time to receive the blow to her face. The impact sent her spinning around and landing on the ground. Blood was gushing from her face. In shock, she was not capable of reacting to the savage and unexpected assault.

Lucas looked in horror as she fell. Before he had time to respond he himself felt something solid collide with his skull. All thought exited his mind as he felt his body driven down from the blow. the energy left his body. Relentlessly the attacker continued to strike his head and shoulders. Without the opportunity to recover, Lucas' body relented and sank to the ground, receiving the blows without the ability to protest...

The observer lost his self-control in that moment. From the first blow he felt the exhilaration of exacting his will upon the unsuspecting couple. Unable to stop, he beat the man with a savage fury he had never released prior. The onslaught did not cease until the cowering body  was reduced to a bloody corpse. Then he turned his attention to the woman...

Still sprawled out from the blow she received, she felt the attacker hoist her into the air.
"Do you know what you are?" he asked. She mumbled a response.
"No", he laughed. "You are not innocent. You have been looking for this kind of justice all your life. Now you will endure the punishment befitting your crimes."
His voice was soft and even, a little deep. She was unable to focus on his features. She could feel her body being hoisted high into the air by a pair of strong arms. She was still aware when the arms launched her body into the air.

It felt as though she were suspended for an eternity in the air. But she eventually felt the inevitable fall. Her body crashed violently off the tarmac. She felt the blood split out of rips in her skin along her face, knees and sides. The breath was driven from her body. Crippled, she struggled to crawl away.

"You don't get to escape your actions," sang the voice. She felt a hand tighten around her throat, extinguishing her air supply. She gave a futile and feeble struggle which seemed to amuse the attacker further.

"You are my first", he whispered in her ear. "You are lucky. The rest will suffer a more severe punishment".
The hand released her to the ground. Gasping, she faded into unconsciousness.

The Old Stand

West of Dublin, East of Clare
In a woodland in Limerick you will find there
Beneath a hill a place like no other
Once famous for its cream and butter
Now known for it's namesake song
Where you'll always feel that you belong

Shanagolden forgotten, and left behind
Says Tarbert and Glin, Limerick and Foynes
How can they ignore the capital town?
The people of Foynes and Robertstown
Just wait, they'll see we're bouncing back?
The Old Stand for alcoil, bia, ceoil agus craic

Off the main road, north of Tralee
Limerick go south, don't mind old Kilkee
In 'Golden you'll hear of An Cailin Ban
Stories to share from dusk till dawn.
Act the clown it'll be thrown back in your face
Gangsters down here you won't find anyplace

Seasons can come, seasons can go
At The Old Stand, the drink always flows
You can be filled with vices and sin
But mind the table, don't spill the gin
Few amoung us have gone international
Bringing you here is far more rational

Remember the sweetness of Shanagolden
Such memories in your heart, indelibly woven
And when you wind up in our land
You'll find what you need in The Old Stand

Balor O'Brien

The Pull

(Chorus) I remember we were flying high
Then everything, it fell awry
In a spiral and asking why?
You are the green in my eyes.

You are meant as my Tanagra
á mé i gceist a bheith do ghrá.
This is what we both have dreamed
Now we're torn down the seam

Remember all those nights apart?
Felt the knife inside my heart
Taking years to find another
To hold you close, and stop your shudder

In the night you were far away
A perfect vision, where you lay
I knew then, I had it found
The soul to which, mine is bound

We can save it, I know we can
Go any distance, league or a span
Remember I said your my star in the sky?
Eve, your always, the apple of my eye!

Balor O'Brien