This is a true story. It was shared with me last night over a couple of drinks. For me it is crucial to preserve stories shared person to person. In the past I have had a laissez-faire (fairly lazy) attitude to this but now I'm hoping to spread a few tales. Hopefully you enjoy this one...
It took place sometime in the early 1990s. There were two couples from Dublin doing some travelling in the west of Ireland. They decided to explore the west coast of Clare during their journey and stopped at a hotel in Miltown Malbay. Now, hotel is probably a generous term for it. But it was somewhere for them to crash for the night and enjoy a few scoops.
The hotel was run by two spinsters and their mother could frequently be heard firing instructions at them from the back room. They introduced themselves to the proprietors as Mike, Sophie, Frank and Kathy. On the first night the two couples were drinking down in the village after a day exploring Lahinch, Quilty and Sanish Point. Once they were back in the hotel they met another couple staying in the hotel who were accompanied by their 15 year old daughter.
Nicholas Robinson, who was then First Gentleman of Ireland (husband of the President of Ireland), was visiting and staying in the hotel. He had four detectives as an escort who rotated shifts in pairs. The couples spent the first night sharing jars with the detectives in the hotel.
The following day the four set out and explored further south along the Clare coast. There was copious amounts of drinking before landing back in the hotel for a second night. Looking to continue drinking they first obliged the proprietors who insisted on cooking them all late night meals. Following this, they resumed their drinking with the group from the previous night. Kathy and Sophie went to bed early that night, leaving the boys to continue the session into the early hours.
Eventually the two retired for the night. Mike was having difficulty on the stairs but with assistance from Frank he made it upstairs and down the corridor towards his room. Frank fell into bed next to his wife and passed out.
The following morning, roused by his wife, Frank was asked by Kathy had he heard the commotion in the night shortly after he went to the room. He had been oblivious to what had apparently been a considerable rucous. The couple went downstairs to grab some breakfast, saluting the couple and their daughter as they sat. Sophie joined them but refused to reveal why Mike was absent. She advised in hushed tones for them to ask himself in person. Curiosity peaked, Frank went up to his friend.
Upon entering the room, Frank was given the keys to the car and money to pay the bill by Mike. Despite pressing him, Mike refused to budge or reveal what transpired. He wanted the car pulled up to the door to run to without delay.
Before paying the bill Frank went for a walk. Upon returning he ran into one of the sisters (Breda), Taking the opportunity he quizzed her on the night before. She obliged him.
During the night Mike had woken to go to the bathroom. There were no ensuites so he ventured down the hall bollock-naked to the toilet. Having relieved himself he made the return journey to his bedroom. What he didn't realise was he had inadvertently entered the room of the 15 year old girl. Oblivious he threw the blankets back to lie down. He presence was greeted by a shrill scream. Within seconds the detectives on duty burst into the room followed by the owners of the hotel to be greeted with the site of the Mike in all his glory.
Mike apologised profusely for the error and the next morning was determined to leave unnoticed. Breda told Frank to inform Mike that they completely understood and they would welcome him back any time. Upon hearing this, Mike seemed even more humiliated. Following the plan, the car was brought to the door and Mike made a run for it, but as he reached the door he ran headlong into the girl and her parents. Stuttering apologies, he retreated to the car anxious for a speedy departure.
Mike entreated everyone to silence on the night's events, but of course, every story needs to be told...
Balor O'Brien
It took place sometime in the early 1990s. There were two couples from Dublin doing some travelling in the west of Ireland. They decided to explore the west coast of Clare during their journey and stopped at a hotel in Miltown Malbay. Now, hotel is probably a generous term for it. But it was somewhere for them to crash for the night and enjoy a few scoops.
The hotel was run by two spinsters and their mother could frequently be heard firing instructions at them from the back room. They introduced themselves to the proprietors as Mike, Sophie, Frank and Kathy. On the first night the two couples were drinking down in the village after a day exploring Lahinch, Quilty and Sanish Point. Once they were back in the hotel they met another couple staying in the hotel who were accompanied by their 15 year old daughter.
Nicholas Robinson, who was then First Gentleman of Ireland (husband of the President of Ireland), was visiting and staying in the hotel. He had four detectives as an escort who rotated shifts in pairs. The couples spent the first night sharing jars with the detectives in the hotel.
The following day the four set out and explored further south along the Clare coast. There was copious amounts of drinking before landing back in the hotel for a second night. Looking to continue drinking they first obliged the proprietors who insisted on cooking them all late night meals. Following this, they resumed their drinking with the group from the previous night. Kathy and Sophie went to bed early that night, leaving the boys to continue the session into the early hours.
Eventually the two retired for the night. Mike was having difficulty on the stairs but with assistance from Frank he made it upstairs and down the corridor towards his room. Frank fell into bed next to his wife and passed out.
The following morning, roused by his wife, Frank was asked by Kathy had he heard the commotion in the night shortly after he went to the room. He had been oblivious to what had apparently been a considerable rucous. The couple went downstairs to grab some breakfast, saluting the couple and their daughter as they sat. Sophie joined them but refused to reveal why Mike was absent. She advised in hushed tones for them to ask himself in person. Curiosity peaked, Frank went up to his friend.
Upon entering the room, Frank was given the keys to the car and money to pay the bill by Mike. Despite pressing him, Mike refused to budge or reveal what transpired. He wanted the car pulled up to the door to run to without delay.
Before paying the bill Frank went for a walk. Upon returning he ran into one of the sisters (Breda), Taking the opportunity he quizzed her on the night before. She obliged him.
During the night Mike had woken to go to the bathroom. There were no ensuites so he ventured down the hall bollock-naked to the toilet. Having relieved himself he made the return journey to his bedroom. What he didn't realise was he had inadvertently entered the room of the 15 year old girl. Oblivious he threw the blankets back to lie down. He presence was greeted by a shrill scream. Within seconds the detectives on duty burst into the room followed by the owners of the hotel to be greeted with the site of the Mike in all his glory.
Mike apologised profusely for the error and the next morning was determined to leave unnoticed. Breda told Frank to inform Mike that they completely understood and they would welcome him back any time. Upon hearing this, Mike seemed even more humiliated. Following the plan, the car was brought to the door and Mike made a run for it, but as he reached the door he ran headlong into the girl and her parents. Stuttering apologies, he retreated to the car anxious for a speedy departure.
Mike entreated everyone to silence on the night's events, but of course, every story needs to be told...
Balor O'Brien
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